lupins:

concept playlists iii

you fell for real this time, your palpitating heart and clamy hands can confirm what you already suspected. it’s not even the alcohol this time, you’re pretty sure your body is about to desintregrate. you’re in love. and you’re completely sober.

your alone in your first apartment and you feel as if maybe you can’t take care of everything by yourself. your chest aches, but the soothing sound of the rain agaisnt your window and the orchids over the kitchen table ease the heaviness for a while.

your partner of four years just cheated on you. your heart is broken but your pride is more, you set his car on fire and laid back on a chair to watch it burn. you light a cigarette with the boiling flames. you can’t find it in yourself to care.

you’re cursed to spend the rest of your life in an abandoned church and your only friends are the ghost that occasionaly kisses you softly and the three-eyed deers eating the vines that engulf the walls. you don’t care, you don’t feel anything.

your abandoned church’s ghost boyfriend wants to feel alive again, you know exactly what to do. you settle a dancing night, he smiles again.

you’re sitting on the passenger’s seat with all the windows open while your favourite person in the world drives. you put your head out to feel the wind mess your hair. everything feels good. you’re getting better.

you’re laying by the pool as the sun sets embracing itself in shades of baby pink. your mind wanders as the wind blows. there’s a strange feeling in the air no one wants to talk about but you feel good.

it turns out your feelings are as inconstant as you thought they were. you thought you liked them, turns out you don’t. you drink cheap sweet wine and you want to feel bad for not loving them anymore, but there’s no soul that is able to command a heart. and that’s okay.

you’re in the 90’s and you’re coming back from school on your bike with your friends while music blasts. everything feels so right and so lighthearted you laugh at everything they say. maybe you’ll stop at the gas station to buy soda, maybe you’ll go to your house and eat all the leftovers. it’ll be fine either way, you’re happy.

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